There are individuals who use their feelings of jealousy to rate how much they love their partner or how much they are loved by their partner. They believe, for instance, that if Im feeling jealous that others are paying too much attention to my partner then thats a sign of how much I love him/her. Alternately they may believe that if I make my partner jealous through my friendships with others that its a sign of how much my partner loves me. In the former case the feelings of jealousy simply reflect deep feelings of insecurity that have nothing to do with love. If your partner is being dishonest and this is obvious to you a more appropriate reaction might be to acknowledge this as a form of abuse and that this relationship is not worth entertaining further. In which case you should not feel jealous, rather relieved that you recognized it before you became further wounded. In the latter case if you are intentionally trying to make you partner jealous to see how much he/she loves you then this too is coming from a place of deep insecurity, yours! In this case it is you who is being abusive and if this is your way of showing your love who do you expect would love you back for it, no one! On the other hand if your partner is the jealous type and your friendships are not intended to make him/her jealous then he/she has the problem around insecurity and you the problem of deciding how much further to proceed in this relationship. If you too are insecure you may decide to put up with such a partner, If not, then you may decide otherwise, but then you already understood this. So you see love and jealousy are not extensions of each other. To get to a true place of love all your feelings of jealousy and therefore insecurity must be addressed for what they are; a sign that you are not yet ready for a mature relationship! If you would like help with this journey then kindly visit the web link below where you can arrange an introductory consultation. |
