Do you have a problem with stammering or stuttering? Does your stutter totally frustrate you? Are you determined to one day beat this horrible speech impediment and to achieve fluency? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, I am aware of how you are feeling. I suffered with quite a severe stutter from the age of four and for the next eighteen years it attempted to and did control my life. It affected every major and even minor decision I made.
I always wanted to be the same as everybody else. Normal is not really the right word to use but normal is what I wanted to be. Why was I the only one in the class who was unable to read out fluently from a book? Why did I have problems in pronouncing certain words beginning with certain letters? This did not seem fair to me as I was growing up and the stutter led to me having a lack of confidence and a low self-esteem.
I thought that if I was to be a good human being that I might be rewarded with fluency. I started to believe in God and would talk to what I refer to as him on a regular basis, at least five times a day. It would not be in the form of the lords prayer but just like a chat.
The years rolled on and despite attending the various forms of stuttering therapy that were on offer, I continued to stammer and stutter. I started to doubt whether this God actually existed. I have to admit that at one point I actually threatened God during one of our chats. It was along the lines of, if you do not start helping me by enabling me to speak fluently then I will have to stop talking to you. This was probably not the best thing to do!
I now believe that the message from God was that he will reward me with fluency only when I deserve it, for example after I have worked very hard to beat the stuttering problem. I then decided to attempt to eradicate the stammer/stutter once and for all and after a lot of hard work was successful at doing so.
