Did you know that on average, each person begins adult life with about 100,000 to 150,000 strands of hair on their head? How you style and wash it can determine the future course of your life. At least according to advertisers.

Shampoo's for women are really life affirming and engaging. They are botanically "enhanced" with "herbal extracts" to nourish, condition, hydrate and moisturize, rejuvenate and lock in the vital nutrients of your hair. These shampoo's are therapeutic, corrective, volumizing and of course, PH balanced. They'll even, on occasion, "burst" into a rich lather! Some are the "perfect choice for active lifestyles!" These products are "specially formulated" to transform women into happy, attractive, self assured, out-going people by giving them shiny, bouncy, vibrant and very manageable hair that looks absolutely elegant in slow motion!

If a man wants to be attractive and self assured, one of two things must happen. Either the shampoo can actually "grow" hair, or we must spend a little more money and buy a new car. It seems that men's hair products aren't quite as "nourishing" toward our feelings, but are marketed for our intellects and largish ego's. Men's shampoos are "scientifically" formulated with proteins and essential amino acids for "superior" health and "advanced" styling. Men don't need conditioning, women already do that for us, but we do need to be "invigorated" and energized with a "high performance" shampoo designed for the "specific needs" of men. Like the need to be superior, advanced and high performance. It's also nice for both sexes when our shampoos actually clean hair.

My need is to keep it as long as I can, and not to have it overly embarrass me too much. I can tell I'm in trouble when I'm talking to my wife and her eye contact is darting from my eyes to just above my eyebrows. That's when I hear, "Honey, do this." as she demonstrates patting down her own hair.

Another difference I've noticed about how men and women deal with hair, is that women can be really critical of each other. I'll never forget hearing a woman describe another woman as a "hair flipper." Some women take it personally when another woman 'flagrantly flips' her hair from one side to the other provocatively.

"Is that a 'thing'...hair flipping?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah...! Flipping hair? You didn't know that? Hair flippers flaunt their beauty fishing for men while provoking the other women."

"Oh" I said.

The street cop of my mind hollered, "Back away from the conversation, this is a "women only" area buddy! Move along..."

And it doesn't stop just because you get older. A woman in her late 50's once told me she stopped going to church because it was too much work competing with the women and their hair. She was weary from the hair battle and needed a break from all the fixing up on Sunday morning!

During my teen insecurities, I had to have a certain amount of hair covering my eyes. I have no idea why. Perhaps it was some kind of social defense, similar to a Cockatiel puffing up his feathers to look bigger. "I've got hair hanging in my eyes, which means I'm just a little rebellious, mysterious and unpredictable, so don't mess with me." This generation has it's own hair defenses and they are much fiercer than when I was in high school. I saw some spiked hair the other day that could have taken your eye out! The message seemed to be, "If I'll do this to myself, just think of what I'll do to you!"

I love the new 'messy' style men are using. What's the message there? "I don't pay that much attention to hair, I'm above that, I just wash, towel dry and go!" The only problem is that the messy look has to be a certain kind of messy. Not actually messy, or "I just woke up this way" messy, but cool messy that takes a good 20 minutes to blow dry and gel into place.

Lunar Hair

Neil Armstrong: Commander of Apollo 11 - First to walk on the moon. Hair clippings hijacked and sold by barber.The big story on men's hair care comes from Marx's Barbershop in Lebanon, Ohio, where Neil Armstrong used to get his hair cut once a month. He doesn't go there anymore since he found out that his barber Marx Sizemore picked up some of his hair off the floor and sold it to a collector for $3,000.00. Now Armstrong, feeling 'hair violated' is threatening to sue.

Marx Sizemore found a guy named John Reznikoff, of Westport, Connecticut, who holds the Guinness world record for the largest collection of historical celebrity hair. He has 115 samples including locks from Abraham Lincoln, John F Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Albert Einstein, Napolean, Elvis Presley, King Charles I, and author Charles Dickens. And now he has a piece of hair from the first man to walk on the moon, Neil Armstrong.

Marx got a threatening letter from Armstrong's lawyer demanding that the hair be returned to Neil or the money be given to charity. Wait a minute. When you leave your hair clippings on the hair cutters floor, who does it belong to? Aren't we all grateful they're willing to sweep it up and throw it away? Regardless of how many wonderful treatments we give our hair, it becomes gross when it leaves our head. But Armstrong's lawyer claims that there is an Ohio law protecting the rights of celebrity hair and other celebrity stuff. Since Neil Armstrong has been a relatively private person since he returned to earth, it's unlikely he'll pursue this further. But I'm sure the producers of Court TV are hoping for a dramatic hair space case where their commercials can sell shampoo that will make all our dreams come true.