We all know how negative factors affecting the brain (such as alcohol, depression on illness) can have a adverse effect on sexual appetite and performance. The opposite is also true. Mental factors can have a powerful positive effect on sexual satisfaction in fact for a woman they can make the difference between having an orgasm and not having one.

We know that possitive mental attitude is a crucial factor in performance, whether in sport, college tests, business decisions or indeed any human activity including sex.

We all have sexual fantasies and theres no harm in that so long as no harm comes from them. We have a choice. We can keep these to ourselves and sometimes this is done out of shame or we can make sure our partner understands exactly what we want.

Your partner has fantasies too and you should encourage him to share them with you. This way, you can both fulfill those fantasies and your sex will be an order of magnitude better.

Of course, there might be a limit to honesty. If your fantasy (or his) is making love to your next door neighbors partner (of either sex) then you might want to consider how this reflects on your relationship. The safest fantasies will involve your partner.

If your fantasy is about having sex with another woman fine, but dont let this damage your relationship. You never know the idea might turn your partner on! However, if you genuinely feel that you might be lesbian, I recommend you talk to one of the lesbian support organizations you can find then in Google.

If you have negative fantasies, such as images of pain or degradation or frightening fantasies, possibly arising out of early life trauma, then you might be best advised to seek professional help.

In a positive sense, indulging a mental fantasy can have an amazing effect on you level of sexual stimulation. it can help you to orgasm and make your orgasms more intense too.

Using fantasy as an important aid to masturbation will be part of our solution to orgasm problems.

There's a whole wealth of information on female orgasm and how to consistently achieve it in my new e-book

Achieving Female Orgasm