(A concerned fathers heart to heart letter to his self-defeating son!) This is the key that opens the door on why you haven't been able to consistently save money and live a more independent life style up 'til now. First of all, you keep reenacting a self-fulfilling belief system! You keep consistently talking yourself out of saving money and moving out of your mother's basement into your own place. You keep telling yourself that you don't have any money so that's makes it hard for you to save money! But you do have money and consistently saving it will cause you to have even more money! But you keep telling yourself that you dont have money and thereby make it certain that you don't save any money or save very little money! Then you spend the money (you say you don't have) on other things and still end up not having any money, making the self-fulfilling prophecy you keep telling yourself come true! You often say, "you feel you don't have any money" but is that true? Does what you feel coincide with reality? Do you have any money or do you just feel you don't have any? Consistently telling yourself over the years that you don't have any money has kept you at 30 plus years old still living in your mother's basement! With all the attendant shame and embarrassment this brings as far as hooking up with the female of your choice and her finding out what your living arrangements are! Saving money is not a hard thing to do! People do it all the time. And it's not like you have to save up 10,000 dollars either! (Though you could if you really put your mind to it!) Over all the years that you've been complaining about living with your mother and wanting to move out, you had more than enough money to do so, if you would've just saved it! The fact that you have consistently allowed whatever savings plans you've started over the years to unravel until you're always back at square one! Shows that you have a pattern of psychological resistance to advancing your situation and moving out on your own! Because if you didn't, you would have moved out long before now! Because although you find it hard to save money, you've had no problem blowing that same money on things that you don't really need! You say that you "know" you can make it on your own and you "know" you won't have any resistance to moving out when the time comes. But you really won't know that until you've done it! And so far you haven't done it! Until then, it's just a belief that you can do it! That may even be part of talking yourself out of saving money and moving out! Believing so strongly that you can do it that you never actually do it! And while it may be enlightening to seek the reasons for why you're resistant to moving out and living a more independent lifestyle, the main thing is to overcome that resistance! This can be done by consistently talking yourself into following through on your plans until you've saved enough money to move out and then actually moving out! So instead of continuing to talk yourself into staying stuck in the same old dependent-child mode of living you've been maintaining all these years! Talk yourself into saving your money, moving out into your own place and into a new adult mode of independent living! Love, Your DAD Copyright 2006 El-Veasey Publishing Inc |
