It all started with a job advertisement for a greeting card company that was advertising for writers. The beginning was straightforward enough as the posting asked applicants to send their resumes along with some humorous responses to a writing exercise, and other writing samples. I half-heartedly filled in some quick answers, feeling like my first impulses would be the best, and whisked the email off to the company. After occupying myself with some other things for a while, my mind started to become haunted by one of the sample questions I had seen.

The exercise was to write an inside response to a card with a woman on the front, and the opening caption, Women are like fine wine. My original response to this challenge was, They have a wonderful aroma, pleasant taste, and a knockout punch if you have too much enjoyment. Of course this caption is not particularly funny or very original, but it is the kind of stuff that appears in greeting cards. My mind would not let me leave it alone. For this reason, here are some other captions that might appear on the inside of such a card.

Women are like fine wine
They both cost a lot, and leave you with nothing but an empty bottle when youre done with them.

Women are like fine wine
They both seem to go well with candy and nuts.

Women are like fine wine
They can both lead to a terrible headache.

Women are like fine wine
If you let them breathe, your appreciation for them can be improved.

Women are like fine wine
It costs a lot to take them off the shelf.

Women are like fine wine
The vintage is important.

Women are like fine wine
It takes time and a lot of skill to find the right one for the price.

Women are like fine wine
Dont get either one before its time.

Women are like fine wine
Both can turn you into an alcoholic.

Women are like fine wine
But wine wont leave a hair in your food.

Women are like fine wine
They both take a long time to get ready.

Needless to say, someone else got that job.